I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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