Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
