Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
