You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
