he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
