Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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