I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
