My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
