wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
