ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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