I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
