Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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