Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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