What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
