We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
