One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We're too hungover to prance.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
