It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
