***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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