Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
