Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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