So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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