Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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