Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
