she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
