she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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