I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize