i think i have two assholes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
