I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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