Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
