but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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