i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
