If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
