If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
