Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
