Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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