Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
