I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
