i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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