nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
