How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
