Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
