Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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