Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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