How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
