Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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