So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize