i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
