i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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