mondays should just be called national damage control day
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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