They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
