whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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