Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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