she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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